Humour from Kenya’s Parliament (2/100)

CHIEF NATIVE COMMISSIONER (Mr. Wyn Harris): Mr. Speaker, I beg to move: That the Voluntarily Unemployed Persons (Provision of Employment) Bill be read a second time. The title of the Bill is a mouthful, but the problem which it sets out to solve goes right back to the beginning
of urban conditions.

In 1547 in Great Britain the word “vagrant” was used. It was during Elizabeth’s time “idle and dissolute persons, rogues and vagabonds”, and one of the most ancient statutes mentions exactly this type of person, and I think it is worth quoting exactly what we mean: “Such as wake on the night and sleep on the day and haunt customary places and alehouses and the routes about, and no man wot from whence they come nor where they go”. (Laughter).

That is exactly the problem. It is a very old problem, and we have not had it in this country a long time because we have not had urban conditions a long time, but we have a modern name for it, and that is “spivs and drones”. Such is the problem that the African has a word and knows exactly what is meant, and that is “Mikora”. In fact, this Bill might be called “Sheria ya Mikora”.

– Extract from Legislative Council Debates Official Report 1949

Question No.422
ISSUANCE OF BOUNCING CHEQUES

Mr. Sifuna asked the Attorney-General:-
(a) how many Kenyans have been taken to court and charged for having given bouncing cheques;
(b) how many of these are public officers or politicians and what their names are; and,
(c) how many of these have lost their public or political offices as a result of “a” above.

The Attorney-General (Mr. Wako): Mr. Speaker, Sir, I will duly reply in accordance with your instructions.
I beg to reply.
(a) None.
(b) In view of “a” above, “b” does not arise.
(c) In view of “a” above, “c” does not arise.

–  Extract from Kenya National Assembly Official Report 2002

The Minister for Nairobi Metropolitan Development (Mr. Githae): Thank you, Mr. Speaker, Sir, for giving me this opportunity. I support the Motion.

It is sad that yet again we are here talking about drought, starvation and death of livestock. The curse of Kenya is maize. Maize is grown in areas that are not suitable for growing the crop. In Kenya, there are only two areas where maize should be grown, namely in Kitale and Trans Nzoia. Those are the maize growing zones. No wonder that they have got so much maize that they do not even know what to do with it.

The Minister for Forestry and Wildlife, Dr. Wekesa, has more than 20,000 bags in his store. The issue is not lack of food. It is more of a distribution problem, and that is what we should be tackling. There are areas with so much maize. There are areas where it is still raining, as Mr. Shakeel has just informed us here. What we need to tackle is distribution. The National Cereals and Produce Board should purchase all the maize that is in Trans Nzoia and Kitale. This should be done immediately so that this food can be distributed to the areas that do not have food.

Mr. Speaker, Sir, the curse of this country is maize because we stopped growing our traditional foods. We used to grow cassava but we no longer do that. We used to grow millet, cow peas, sweet potatoes and ndengu, which is my favourite food. When you start growing—

Mr. Speaker: Order, Member for Ndia! I thought in the Ninth Parliament you said your favourite food was rats.

–  Extract from Kenya National Assembly Official Report 2011

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